Short-term gains.

No, Weight Watchers, I’m not struggling with weight gain.
Real talk: I’m struggling with just plain hating myself right about now.

I spent six days of the last week trying not to kill myself, much less eat my weight in pizza (5 points) and fried chicken (11 points). The only exercise I got was running back and forth from the staff office to those hotel meeting rooms. And lifting my walkie-talkie from my waist to my face, begging A/V to come back and help yet again with my laptop connection.
File under: not enough.

My scale is giving me a complex these days. There’s a reason I put it away for such a long time: Even if I had liked the way I was looking, the number would have been far higher than I was comfortable with.
But Weight Watchers demands I use it.
When I weighed in on Monday, the scale read 196.3. Christ on a [whole-wheat] cracker. (2 points.)

This is not me fishing for compliments.
I get that it’s not as bad as it sounds. Yes, I’m tall. Yes, I have a lot of muscle built up from running. Yes, I carry my weight well. I always have.
But less than five pounds from 200?
Nothing about that is okay.
And it’s a gain of 7 pounds from last week.
How is that even possible? HOW. You’d think my body would burn something just making the effort to expand like that.

If you live in a cave, you may not have heard that the storm of the century did, in fact, arrive. With waist-high drifts all over Chicago and temperatures dropping into the single digits over the next 24 hours, that means no running any time soon for broke girl with no gym membership.
So, the snow sucks. Well, it’s gorgeous. But for killing the fat kid, it sucks.
And watching the Food Network 24/7 now that I’m home — Paula Deen is suddenly my best friend, and her best friend is a stick of butter (24 points) — likely isn’t helping either. Lunchtime on TV is the homemade version of Chinese takeout. And those egg rolls (6 points) look delicious, Paula, but who the hell has a deep fryer built into their counter? Really. REALLY.
And don’t even get me started on those Jillian Michaels K-Swiss shoe ads and Atkins Diet spots that run during the commercial breaks when Paula runs out to grab another pint of heavy cream (45 points).

My butt is flattening into a shelf as I type this.
I can only hope that if I quit with the self-flagellation, step away from the biscuits (3 points) in my refrigerator and find some way to derive a little joy from all the vegetables (0 points…ZERO!) I bought in preparation for the blizzard, the scale will be kinder to me next week.
And maybe at some point, I’ll be nicer to myself, too.

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20 Responses to “Short-term gains.”

  1. susan aka Miss R Says:

    I hear you. I stepped away from the Barefoot Contessa (she’s a bit chunky too) and made cookies yesterday…why? Bored, inside too long, you name it. Ate some of them too…12 points!

  2. Brian Says:

    I. Love. You.

  3. Leigh Says:

    Now this is a blog that I’d say most people can relate to! It’s been hard losing since having a baby, but I read a blog on SparkPeople a few weeks ago about non scale victories, and the author posted pictures of herself at the SAME weight but the pictures were totally different! Definitely do measurements and pictures, because although 7 lbs sounds like a lot, it can be so many different things! More than likely, it’s water weight. It will go away.

    Here’s a link to that blog if you’re interested in seeing it.
    http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=3926473

    • Paige Worthy Says:

      Wow — thanks for linking to this. She looks amazing for not having lost anything on the scale!
      I will definitely start taking pictures (ugh) and doing some measurements…though I guess that means I need to get a tape measure.

      Nice to see you, Leigh, and congrats on your baby!

  4. Janet Says:

    I felt obligated to comment on this, outside of my FB comment. We are not perfect. We slip up…and we bounce back. Come on. I’m sure that fried chicken and pizza was delicious. I savor every bite of awful-for-me mac n’ cheese. Be nice to yourself and never beat yourself up about it.

    I also want to punch people in the face when I get the “muscle weighs more than fat” line. Come on. I know when I’ve slipped.

    Some of the 7 lbs could be water weight. I know my body hordes that stuff when I don’t get enough for a few days. Hang in there!

  5. winenegress Says:

    I can relate to this post but often find the Food Network borders on porn when my self-image is a bit dinged up. You’ll be fine. Walking in deep snow is good for you unless you die of a heart attack. Then not so much.

  6. Laura Says:

    Man, hmmm…this is making me sort of feel bad about myself now.

  7. Jessica Malnik Says:

    My similar obsession with the Food Network is two-fold. For one, it actually has helped teach me how to cook. I’m a twenty-something and I want to know how to make more than frozen pizza, pasta and salad. On the other hand, I also feel obligated to turn it off when I’m watching the Butter Queen, ala Paula Deen. I can definitely relate because her food always looks so delish, but yet it’s also filled with a gazillion calories and trans fat. I’ve learned obsessing about your weight is never the answer. As long as you are healthy and eat a balanced diet, then go ahead and indulge in Paula Deen’s gooey butter cake. It’s all about striking a balance.

  8. jackson Says:

    There’s no way you gained 7 pounds in a week. That would mean you ate over 24,000 calories more than your body burned.

    Most of that is certainly water weight. Of course, the Weight Watchers weight tracker doesn’t really take that into consideration, which can be really annoying and discouraging. You will likely be back to normal next week.

  9. Gabriel Says:

    This blog, and its author: (100 points of) awesomesauce.

  10. Joe Says:

    Travel weeks like you had will mess with your weight. I travel every other week, and it comes with a constant dread of getting on the scale. As long as my pants fit, I know I don’t have to worry too much. Give it a few days, back to your normal routine and you’ll see the 7 pounds disappear.

  11. Sara Says:

    I’m going to tell you something that worked for me this week. You can do what you want with it, I’m not here to judge you one way or the other. (How could I? I ate an entire can of Pringles last week in one sitting.) But I went out for a Restaurant Week dinner last night that was spectacular, and my weigh-in day was today, so I was kind of freaking out about it. Instead of just abandoning everything, I simply told myself that I wasn’t going to deny myself everything, but I would just eat half of whatever I ordered. And I did – I ate half of the piece of bread, half of the shrimp salad, half of the cod, and 2 out of 4 of the beignets I was served. I felt full at the end but not unpleasantly so, and I also didn’t feel like I had deprived myself of anything.

    Maybe it could work for you, or maybe not. But it worked for me this week, and I felt good about it.

  12. Wardell Says:

    It’s a constant struggle isn’t it? I’d lots about 10 pounds last year but judging from the snugness of the waist line of some of my pants I’d say I’ve gained it all back. I’m considering starting a stricter diet myself, I’ve also registered for a couple of races already which I need to start training harder for , hoping that will help get me back into shape. Good luck in reaching your goals.

  13. Emily Says:

    Blech, I HATE scales. No matter how often I tell myself “It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon” or “Yes, but you just drank a lot of water” or “I’m sure these shoes add….five pounds,” I end up beating myself up for days after I see a too-big number.

    But really? It’s NOT a sprint. It IS a marathon. It’s your life! Your new life of portions and seeing fries as a treat, not a given. And as long as you’re doing the right things, the pounds will come off. Even if the scale’s numbers don’t look right from week to week.

    Try only watching the food network while you’re eating your own, healthy meals, not before. And maybe borrow someone’s workout DVD? Not my favorite option, but better than nothing when running isn’t an option.

  14. Ruthan Says:

    I agree with everyone who says it must be water weight.
    And the only advice I’ve got is, if you like oatmeal, eat a good-size bowl of it for breakfast — fiber, protein, and a hug for your insides that’ll keep you full well past when you should be having lunch (because! not letting yourself get hungry is key.)

    (The “eat half of everything” idea is good too.)

    But also, hey, Weight Watchers? I hear you work and stuff, but really, I wish you’d die in a fire. Are you seriously so cocky you believe your program is the panac[a]ea that will make getting on a scale a rewarding and fulfilling and motivating experience every single week? Women have plenty of metrics by which to hate ourselves already.

  15. Pete Says:

    I would have never guess you were 5 lbs under 200. You carry it very well. Be happy with who you are, a brite pretty, smart funny woman, who clearly has excellent taste in tomato cages. I learned a long time ago that we all have to except our limitations. I am never going to have anymore hair than I do now, well maybe on my legs and chest and arms, but not on my head (although I am growing the beard out). And yes I ramble aimlessly when I type, but be happy with yourself. The scale is an awful measure, how do you feel, do you have friends, do you like your life, are you a good person. I think the answer to all of those for you are yes, so who cares what you gravitation force toward the earth is. Remember on the moon that would only be 33 pounds.

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