Taylor Cotter, you are stupid.

Submitted, for your consideration: A Struggle of Not Struggling.

(Prepare to resist the urge to scream and break things.)

It’s one of those articles where you see the headline and realize you’re walking right into the biggest train wreck you’ve seen all day.
And I see a lot of train wrecks. I actually love train wrecks. (Sometimes I’m one of ’em.)

It begins:

Like most female journalists, I assume, I only grew up with two real inspirations in my life: Carrie Bradshaw and Harriet the Spy.

…………

Oh, dear. This will go well.

She, like me, had plans a career in New York City, living the life we see on television. I think a lot of girls, especially ones who grow up in smaller towns and the Midwest, dream of this.

But she goes on to lament her choice to throw these dreams away when the harsh reality of the recession set in; she passed up the glamorously broke life and her impending mid-life crisis in lieu of practicality.

Now, two months after graduation, I seem to be one of just a handful of people that’s been able to get themselves on their feet, pay their own bills and actually put together some semblance of an adult life with minimal parental assistance. I bought a car, found an apartment and set up a 401k, just six months after turning 22. I came down on the “right” side of every statistic — I found a job in my field that actually pays well, I’m living on my own, and seem to have everything that these other college graduates are dying to have.

Girl, I do not like you.

She’s actually disappointed that she didn’t get to struggle on shitty freelance work and a crappy apartment shared with 17 roommates in Bed-Stuy.  “I chose the path of a full-time job and an adult life,” she sobs. Like she can never go back now that she’s shackled herself to upward mobility. Oh, woe is me.

Taylor, I can’t wait until your boss realizes he hired an idiot — probably after reading this comment — and has to wrestle with some pretty tough decisions himself. Although they won’t be that tough, because these things actually are reversible. You can lose everything in a heartbeat.

The number of people I know who “did everything right,” just like you did, and still can’t get work — not even the 10-cents-a-word kind — seems to go up every 47 seconds or so. Or, worse, they had great jobs and lost them.
And all those people have every right to hate you, because you are an asshole.

You are really dumb.
For real.

(You should go hang out with this dope for a minute. I’m sure you’ll get all kinds of content ideas.)

I’ll look forward to your follow-up column about getting everything you ever wanted because you lost that cushy job, can no longer pay for your car and have to look to your parents for way more than minimal assistance.

If this is Taylor Cotter’s idea of a springboard into a successful career as an edgy, of-the-moment female voice, I hope she gets one hell of a wake-up call from the Internet hive mind.

Shame on Taylor Cotter for thinking it’s even remotely okay to write smug swill like this, and shame on the Huffington Post for encouraging her while, at the same time, knowing it was going to spark a firestorm of viral criticism and make them more money.

And, I guess, shame on me for perpetuating it even further. Sometimes I’m just embarrassed to be…seemingly way, way too much like her. And I have to put it out there.
Ugh.

Oh, tro-o-o-o-o-ll?

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20 Responses to “Taylor Cotter, you are stupid.”

  1. Jennifer Freeman Says:

    I was embarrassed to read that column because I, too, have “been able to get themselves on their feet, pay their own bills and
    actually put together some semblance of an adult life with minimal
    parental assistance.”

    But, I’m pretty happy with where I am, have itchy enough feet to want more, and smart enough to know I’m also INCREDIBLY lucky. And I still fuck up on a regular basis.

  2. Kat Says:

    She makes me want to vomit. I have been lucky to have never “struggled” in regards to having a job and being financially stable, but I have NOTHING but appreciation for that as my boyfriend, sister, and friends with great educational qualifications and drive struggle to be gainfully employed. Wonder if she regrets that silver spoon that she was born with too?

  3. Dan Heinz Says:

    Is she single?

  4. Renita Marjan Says:

    Straight out of college, I had no student loan debt, a full-time copy editor job at a small but respectable daily, and enough money to make rent if not buy a new car. I came down on the right side.

    Four years later, I was working for a little-bit-bigger but still not too big daily, about to get married, making more, could call myself an award-winning editor … and I got FIRED. 

    It’s not like her having everything together now guarantees her some sort of magical existence. One day, she will have her ass handed to her … and she’ll be really surprised by it.

  5. MaggieKB Says:

    You know what, I don’t even care about the main topic of her post. I’m still offended that she would claim all female journalists think of Carrie-mother-fucking-Bradshaw as an inspiration. What? Whatwhatwhat? 

    Also: WHAT? 

    (Also: Fuck her.) 

  6. Amanda Kim Stairrett Says:

    I’m embarrassed for any woman who says Carrie Bradshaw is an inspiration on her life. I am especially embarrassed for any woman journalist who says Carrie Bradshaw is an inspiration on her life. I’m from a farm outside of a town of 900 in Southwest Kansas. I aspire to much more than a TV show full of shallow, unrealistic, fabulous expectations.

  7. Theresa Markham Says:

    I refuse to follow the link Paige.  I think you should do for us what the Reader did to that tacky travel journalist who was so shocked that Chicago was…Chicago. make erasure poetry.

  8. Brian D Says:

    Dear Taylor Cotter,
    ………………………………………..

    I just realized she isn’t worth my response…

  9. Abbey Says:

    Gag. That’s all I have. Just… gag. 

  10. Saul Spady Says:

    I have very like minded feelings on this topic. My main complaint was her inability to find adventure. http://crownsocial.com/blog/how-to-find-adventure-a-response-to-taylor-cotter/

  11. Coachalpo Says:

    First of all, you need to get yourself a bit better acquainted with what “in lieu of” means because you’re using it incorrectly.  She chose practicality in lieu of the other thing.  I’m here to help.

    Second, who the hell is Taylor Cotter (you never say), and why are you so mad because of her?  I had to click the links to find out who she is.  And now that I know, who cares?  Everyone is a “writer” on the internet. 

    This article actually reminded me of someone else, who shall remain nameless.  I’m talking about a person who claims something but then actually does things that contradict that claim.  I think it’s called creative license, and it’s calculated and contrived.

    It’s rather evident that jealousy permeates this blog post because Taylor Cotter got published nationally and someone else did not.  Who cares?  (“You do because you’re here.”  Yes, I know, but I’m not riled up at all about the stupid article.). 

    Internet people, stop trying to elicit fake attention, compliments and validation.  Stop putting your whole damn lives out there for public consumption.  It betrays your inherent insecurities and, frankly, doesn’t reflect well on you.  (“If you don’t like it, don’t read it.”  Yes, I know.). 

    Sunshine, puppies, hugs and ice cream. 🙂

    • paigeworthy Says:

      I wonder if the whole world would explode if, just once, you made a POSITIVE contribution. Instead of wasting time with these comments, why don’t you make a donation to my AIDS ride instead? You can even do it anonymously — perfect for charitable trolls.

      http://bit.ly/paige-rides-for-aids

      • Coachalpo Says:

         I appreciate your correct use of “in lieu of” in this post. 

        Writers have to face constructive criticism.  Referring to constructive criticism as “trolling” is whining. 

        I support the ride and the charity, but I decline to donate. 

      • paigeworthy Says:

        And referring to what you do here as “constructive criticism” is just hilarious.

      • Coachalpo Says:

         Well, I chimed in at your behest (“oh troll?”).  I assumed you were referring to me. 

        I still stand by my statement that you do the same thing Cotter Pin does, i.e. take creative license to draw attention.  You just haven’t had an article published nationally. 

        There will always be people who are better than you are.  And there will always be people who get accolades who may not be better than you and obviously don’t deserve them.  That’s life.  Deal.

      • Mike Phillips Says:

        I, for one, want to see a paigeworthy/Coachalpo book. Kind of like Griffin & Sabine. 

        http://www.amazon.com/Griffin-Sabine-An-Extraordinary-Correspondence/dp/0877017883

  12. premiseSUCK Says:

    I am Vinz, Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer… Volguus Zildrohoar, Lord of the Seboulia, are you the Gatekeeper?

  13. Suffering as a prerequisite for happiness? « Deliberate Donkey Says:

    […] human being. The Internet has responded as the Internet responds: she has been condemned as stupid, immature, and ungrateful. She’s been analyzed, assessed, and assigned adjectives according […]

  14. Jack C. Says:

    “…[Proust] gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, ’cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn’t learn a thing….those are your prime suffering years. You don’t get better suffering than that.”

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